Where have I been all this time?!

It certainly has been a minute since I last composed a blog post.  Things got crazy and I am just rounding the corner and dealing with things.  I found out that my very first real boyfriend of almost three years, the reason I relocated from Pennsylvania to Virginia, my first true love and ex-fiance passed away on Christmas Day.  He was thirty years old, had a one year old daughter and a family that loved and supported him but unfortunately that was not enough to keep him on this earth and he removed himself, alone and away from all family.  At first I was angry because even though he was no longer with his daughter’s mother, he still was her father and she will need him for the rest of her life.  I was angry because it was such a selfish thing to do in my eyes but I understand how the lowest of the lows can force us to do unnatural things.  Then I got very sad.  He reached out to me through a Facebook message in November expressing feelings I had not heard from him in years.  At this point I was with my current fiance for almost three years and engaged to him.  I expressed the need for him to try and make amends with his ex-girlfriend because his connection to her was infinite as well as his duty as a good dad to his daughter.  Once the anger wore off and the earlier message hit me I realized that my no nonsense approach could have been a reason for his later decision.  Then the guilt took hold.  I thought of him in everything I did, everything I saw and everything I heard.  I’ve come to an understanding with myself that I had been out of his picture for years and that there was nothing I could have done to resolve his problems.  Today I am better.  I will never get over it but neither will his daughter or his ex-girlfriend and for them I can only wish the best.

Add into that mix doctorate level courses to complete my Ed.D coursework prior to my dissertation work and a full time job and I was what you would call overwhelmed.  Things are calming down, my class this quarter is less complex, work is soon coming to a close and the weather is approaching full spring bloom!!

I finished my marathon in March.  After being told that I would not be under 5 hours for my first marathon and due to late snow that shorted my training window (yes, i’m a wimp I know) I finished in 4 hours and 46 minutes.  Aside from three toenails that were later victims of the marathon, I felt great and still do.  However, it never fails; I run a long race such as a half or a full and I lose all desire to run.  I’m sure it will come back especially now that the weather is more inviting but I have not run since the marathon in March.

I’ve been working outside, getting my eating habits back in order and am committing to a better gym regimen post-flu that struck after the marathon.  But…I’m Back and it feels good.  I want to be stronger and healthier and I have committed to a plant-based diet with the exception of fish and tonight is my first dinner: Black Bean fajitas!! Stay tuned for a recipe and recipe review!

Today is a boot-camp day which is the YMCA’s version of Cross fit and then I plan to get more yard work completed.  Soon the school year will be over and my 7th year of teaching will be finished.  I have big plans for the rest of the year and this summer.  I hope you are excited to tag along with me.  Just one more thing in case you didn’t realize… I’M BACK!!!

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One thought on “Where have I been all this time?!

  1. Pingback: Where have I been all this time?! | life through the finish line

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